Shortening a NOIM: How a "NO" Became a "YES" to Crocs

Meg and her Croc

I had a meeting at another location for my day job as a Diverse Learning Teacher that went over time. Because it went over time, I missed out my usual lunch time and I could feel my hangry levels rising so before going home, I decided to go to the local sushi train. 

Feeling a little delirious, I checked my emails as I was walking through the shopping centre and saw an inquiry for a wedding in Parramatta in November. I contacted the inquirer but they did not pick up. As I sat down at the sushi train, I read the details more clearly - they wanted a weekday wedding in less than a month. Eek!

A little apprehensive as I did not know how the logistics of a weekday wedding would work for my family  plus realising that their proposed date was less than a month, I regretted calling back. My brain was already preparing a full meltdown scenario, convincing me that yes, I was still being chased by a giant prehistoric sloth and needed to flee the scene.

But before I could spiral any further, my phone began to ring.

Jo* was on the line. Jo explained she was calling on behalf of her sister (let’s call her Meg*) whose story unfolded like something straight out of a modern rom-com. Meg and her partner had originally planned an overseas wedding and were preparing for IVF, but in the sweetest plot twist life could offer, she fell pregnant naturally. Cue tears, squeals, and a whole lot of happy hormones. They booked a restaurant for a tea ceremony and, in the spirit of “when it feels right, it feels right,” thought it would be beautiful to also get married that same day.

Except… the day they wanted was less than a month away and that pesky NOIM (Notice of Intended Marriage) rule doesn’t care about cravings, tea ceremonies or magical timing - it cares about dates. You need to lodge it at least one full month before saying “I do.”

Still, I wanted to try. I combed through Dr Google and found an array of websites that helped give me an understanding of the process of shortening a NOIM. Then it hit me right in the face – it is indeed possible to give less than a month’s notice under certain circumstances. In Meg’s situation, she fell under:

The Marriage Regulations 2017 (Schedule 3) 2 Wedding or celebration arrangements (1)(a)

Everything sounded promising… receipts for a restaurant booking, a wedding invitation, WhatsApp correspondence between Jo and the restaurant owner and even receipts for their overseas wedding. All of these receipts pointed towards the fact that Meg wanted to get married on the day of her tea ceremony. 

So what do we need to do next? Contact the prescribed authority. 

However, by that time Meg and I were messaging back and forth, the local courts were closed. I advised Meg to contact Parramatta court, which was her local court, during business hours the next day. 

She did but guess what? It was the wrong court. They had told her that they dealt with criminal issues. Sorry Meg! But, in her quest to get married in less than a month, she contacted every number that came up on Google to find that I could just email Pyrmont Registry on bdm-marriages-syd@customerservices.nsw.gov.au 

Shoutout to The Celebrant Society as when I was on Dr Google, I found a template for a shortening of NOIM letter. If you’re new here and it is your first time hearing about The Celebrant Society, they are an association for marriage celebrants. I somehow came across them online and became a member and I highly recommend you join the community if you are looking for an association. I post the most random questions on the Facebook Group Page and get serious and reassuring responses. In this process, I also called Dr Marriage Celebrant Alison Pickel for back-up and she was able to lead me to a NSW BDM newsletter from the 8th of July 2025 for more information in the process ofshortening a NOIM. 

I digress a little…

So I send the email and it goes a little something like this:

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Angela and my Celebrant Authorisation Number is MC1234. I am emailing you today to request a shortening of time for a Notice of Intended Marriage for parties Meg March and John Brooke under the Marriage Regulations 2017 (Schedule 3) 2 Wedding or celebration arrangements (1)(a).

I received their NOIM today, Thursday the 30th of October 2025. Their intended wedding date is Thursday, the 20th of November 2025. I am willing and available to conduct their ceremony on their desired date and am fully empathetic and supportive for their circumstances. 

Upon meeting them today to complete the NOIM, I recognised their genuine need to marry in less than one month's notice as they were not aware of the one month requirement for the NOIM. In addition to this, Meg’s unexpected and much welcomed surprise pregnancy has created an urgency in this circumstance, as it is their wish to welcome their first child to a married family. 

Attached to this email is my Letter of Support for Shortening of Time, their NOIM as well as evidence that demonstrates that Meg and John made plans to be legally wedded alongside their cultural celebrations.

I am available via email on abcelebrancy@gmail.com or phone 0412 345 678 to discuss Meg and John’s appeal for a Shortening of Time.

Kind regards,

Angela

I tried to pull on their heartstrings a little… But I know that we are in the modern times and an unwed mother is no longer such a great scandal.

Within 36 business hours, I received a reply. A big fat no. My heart sank a little. 

Really wanting Meg to be married on the day that she wanted, I decided to put my big girl pants on and called the number on the bottom of the email. They explained to me that although that there was something missing…

written evidence that they intended to get married on that date before reaching out to me.

They could not accept the venue receipts or the Whatsapp messages. I sheepishly informed Meg via phone call. She understood and we set the date for exactly one month after we completed the NOIM. I received a text message an hour later:

Thank you for trying everything you could for us with the shortening of time ❤️ appreciate it 

I assured her that although we could not have it on the day of her tea ceremony, her ceremony at home will be better as we got to wear our best Crocs. (Surely the Code of Conduct for Marriage Celebrants says nothing about wearing Crocs being unprofessional?)

So even though it was disappointing, it was not really about the date or the location. The fact of the matter is Meg and John will get to celebrate what their relationship means three times. The tea ceremony, our little home ceremony and their overseas wedding. Crocs or not, there was no denying their love, their excitement and what their relationship means to them.

To my fellow newbie celebrants, shortening a NOIM does sound like a scary process. But I fully encourage you to try at least once because it’s really not that bad. I was so worried that I was going to disappoint my couple but I only now realise that it was never really about the date for them. 

_______________________________

If you are still reading, so how do you actually shorten a NOIM? My very real, very chaotic crash-course:

If you’d asked me a few months ago how to shorten a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM), I probably would’ve smiled politely, nodded like I understood every word you were saying and then quietly panicked later. But here we are, a real couple, a real deadline and me, somewhere between a sushi train hangry spiral and the sudden discovery that this is actually my job now.’

1. First things first: a NOIM can be shortened (but not “just because.”)

The one-month waiting period is the default, and it’s taken seriously. You can only shorten it if the situation falls under one of the prescribed categories:

• Employment or travel commitments

• Wedding or celebration arrangements

• Medical reasons

• Legal proceedings

• Error in giving notice

(And no, “the moon is in Capricorn” doesn’t count, unfortunately.)

2. The couple needs a reason and proof.

This is where NSW gets spicy. It’s not enough for the couple to say the date is important, the Registry wants receipts… literally.

Whatever category their situation falls into, they need written evidence:

• If it’s a venue booking → invoice, email, contract

• If it’s travel → flight confirmations

• If it’s medical → letter from a doctor

• If it’s wedding arrangements → correspondence showing the date was planned

And yes, they really do check.

3. You STILL need to complete the NOIM properly.

Even though the couple needs the date sooner, the NOIM still has to be:

• Filled out correctly

• Signed

• Witnessed

• Lodged with you

• 
  

There are no shortcuts here! The paperwork still has to be done like any other wedding.

4. You have to email the Registry 

In NSW, we don’t upload a form or click a button. We email an actual human at the Registry.

Here’s what needs to go in:

From the couple:

• A letter explaining why they need the shortening

• Their full names & proposed wedding date

• Why the NOIM wasn’t lodged earlier

• Evidence to back up their reason

• 
  

From me (the celebrant):

• My celebrant details

• A letter confirming the date, location, and that I am willing/able to conduct the ceremony

• The completed NOIM

• 
  

Everything gets bundled up and emailed to BDM.

You can also contact prescribed authorities but I found this process a little less useful. I tried to contact my local court but the phone number and whole process was confusing. You also have to contact them during their inconvenient opening hours - if you have a day job like me. I’d rather deal with a human from the Registry. 

5. Then… we wait (but not for long).

NSW BDM is surprisingly quick with shortening applications and usually do so within two business days. 

And if your couple thinks they have evidence but actually doesn’t? The answer will be a polite but very real “no.”

6. A rejection doesn’t mean the couple can’t get married - it just means not on that date.

This part surprised me. A rejection isn’t a punishment. It’s a legal boundary.

The couple can still marry but they’ll just need to pick a date outside the one-month waiting period.

_______________________________

So what did I learn?

♡ Shortening a NOIM is less about being persuasive and more about being prepared with proof, paperwork, and patience.

♡ It’s a very human process inside a very legal framework.

♡ People’s lives shift suddenly. Pregnancies, family news, travel deadlines, illness & sometimes love doesn’t wait neatly for a calendar.

♡ My job isn’t to magically bend the rules. My job is to guide couples clearly through them.

Yes, the rejection was hard. But honestly? We survived and the couple can still get married anyway. But this time we get to wear Crocs instead of heels.

A checklist for my visual learners!