When Love Grows Wings: "The Dragonfly Story" for a Vow Renewal in Sydney

Dragonfly from Open Minds Sanctuary, Wetherill Park.

One thing I didn’t expect to learn as a marriage celebrant is the rich stories across cultures weaved into ceremonies. Recently, I blogged about a vow renewal I was preparing for Wendy and Michael where they wanted a ritual that portrayed their relationship, a love that transcends time. Sadly for them, having met later in life but yet young enough to share a few decades together, Wendy was unexpectedly diagnosed with terminal cancer. Without getting into too much detail, their love glows all around them, and those stuck in the orbit of their love are better for having known such a kind soul in Wendy. From the deepest parts of my soul, I wish for them longer days of love and life. May they fill the rest of their life with love and meaning. 

For their vow renewal, they wanted a ritual that truly represented their love. A handfasting ritual is ancient in nature, with its roots in Celtic history. However, not wanting to appropriate this, I decided to mix it up and turn it into a yugal or Filipino cord ceremony and handfasting. I chose a red ribbon to represent energy and love, and with the intention of Wendy and Michael being drawn to its bright colour in every lifetime and in every form. However, I was truly unsure as to what to use to weigh down the red ribbon.

That is when I decided to visit Open Minds Sanctuary at Wetherill Park, a new age shop that offers holistic and alternative services. I was greeted by Tracey, the shopowner and I explained the situation. That’s when she very sweetly told me “The Story of the Dragonfly”, written by Doris Stickney. Though it is mostly shared for funerals, it was perfect for Wendy and Michael’s vow renewal. Here is my best adaption of the story –  

There is a type of beetle that lives under the mud. Every now and then, one of their beetle friends would leave the muddy waters only to never be seen again. One day, a beetle decided that it would see what’s above the surface.

Above the muddy waters, the beetle saw the sky for the first time. Feeling tired, the beetle rested on a lilypad, with the sun warming its body.

When the beetle woke up, their body was completely changed – they had wings. They flew through with the breeze, through the trees and back to their lilypad. Wanting to go back to the muddy waters to tell their friends about what happens after they reach the surface, their body was too changed to go back. 

Although Wendy and Michael’s vow renewal was a few months ago, I am still processing it. Their love, the emotions, the day. The people they love, their siblings and their most dearest friend, watching them in a moment that we all wished would last a little longer. I will write about it, for the time being, myself and the people around them are praying for longevity.

W&M: Wishing you this & every after time life together