Always Learning: What Script Writing Has Taught Me as a Marriage Celebrant

Thinking I would specialise in legal-only weddings, I initially planned to dedicate minimal time and effort to writing scripts. Most couples I meet express a desire for a no-frills ceremony, and I willingly oblige. But oh, how the journey has unfolded!

When Structure Met Meaning

For my first wedding at St Andrew’s Ukrainian Catholic Church, I dove into researching various Ukrainian wedding traditions. That’s when I stumbled upon the rushnyk wedding tradition. A rushnyk is an intricately embroidered wedding cloth that the couple stands on during the ceremony. It symbolises “stepping together” as a couple, and the design pays homage to their culture and ancestry. However, I must confess, I didn’t confirm this with anyone of Ukrainian descent. My partner assured me I was over**stepping
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The Comfort of a Template

In my quest for guidance, I consulted Dr. Google and found a ceremony script template on the Victoria State Government website. It seemed straightforward enough:

• A warm welcome

• The monitum phrased as a question for the couple

• The monitum itself

• Legal vows

• An option for personal vows (best done second, so they can ugly cry if needed)

• The pronunciation

• The signing

• A heartfelt conclusion

  
  

This structure is logical and allows for some edits and improvisation, especially in the welcome and conclusion. However, as I review my checklist the night before the ceremony, I often find myself personalising the script at the last minute.

But is good, good enough?

That late hour is barely enough. Usually, it’s a borrowed hour, with my toddler moments away from waking. So what happens? I walk away from the ceremony feeling it could have been better.

Although I always ask my couples to read the script and confirm their satisfaction, they often seem bewildered by the ceremony structure on the day. They look dumbfounded, and I can’t help but think that maybe the rushnyk would have been a lovely touch for that first wedding.

What Future Me Is Changing

Looking ahead, I realise I need to create a questionnaire for that initial meeting. This will gather all the implicit information I need to craft a script I’m proud of. I want my couples to feel that their love story has been beautifully captured, and that their ceremony is a mere sonnet in the anthology of their lives.

So, what have I learned? The script is our guide as celebrants. It helps us stay calm and relaxed, which in turn projects onto the couples. A steady environment allows them to focus on vowing forever.

Key Questions for Crafting Your Ceremony

Here are three basic questions to ask during that initial meeting that will aid in your script writing:

1. How did you meet?

2. How long have you been together?

3. Who will be at your wedding?

   
   

These questions provide invaluable insights into their values, story, and vibes.

The Blurred Line

Yes, the ceremony script provides structure.

Yes, it meets legal requirements.

But it also carries meaning, safety, and intention.

Somewhere between the template and the rushnyk, I’ve learned that scripts are not just words we read — they are the framework that allows love to stand, breathe, and be witnessed.

Embracing Personal Touches

As I continue on this journey, I’m learning to embrace personal touches. Each couple has a unique story, and it’s my job to weave that into their ceremony. Whether it’s a nod to their favourite song or a quirky anecdote about how they met, these details make the ceremony feel like it’s crafted by a friend.

The Importance of Connection

Building a genuine connection with couples is essential. It’s not just about the ceremony; it’s about creating an experience that resonates with them. I want them to feel comfortable sharing their story with me, knowing that I’ll honour it in the script.

The Role of Feedback

Feedback is a gift. After each ceremony, I encourage couples to share their thoughts. What did they love? Was there anything they wished had been different? This feedback loop helps me refine my approach and ensures that I’m continually improving.

The Journey Ahead

As I look to the future, I’m excited about the possibilities. I want to continue learning and growing as a celebrant. Each wedding is a new opportunity to create something special, and I’m here for it!

In conclusion, writing a ceremony script is more than just filling in the blanks. It’s about crafting a narrative that reflects the couple’s journey and celebrates their love. So, here’s to the beautiful chaos of wedding planning and the joy of being a part of such a significant moment in people’s lives.

Let’s keep the love stories flowing!