A Christmas Day Wedding on a Sydney Rooftop: Reflections from a Marriage Celebrant

Photo credit: my mum ♡

When people asked me what I was doing Christmas, I proudly said that I was working. Having received an urgent enquiry from a couple to do their wedding due to an illness in the family, I felt so much empathy. Bec, a young girl whose father was unwell, wanted nothing more than her father to give her away on one of the most important days of her life. Obviously when I say young girl, she was in her twenties (but everyone younger than me is a young person).

It sounded so simple, a Christmas Day wedding at her father’s apartment. When I met her and her partner Shiv, they showed me exactly where it was to be held, on the rooftop. To be honest when she said apartment and mentioned her father who was unwell, I was expecting a more medical and sterile setting. I thought we would be in the apartment with medical supplies around us. 

Instead, there were views of the Sydney Harbour, a curated entertaining area. She explained the backdrop, the colour theme. I smiled to myself, of course. It is still their wedding day and they deserve  the fanfare. Love and life is to be celebrated.

As per my business practice as a Sydney Marriage Celebrant, I sent the couple the script a week after our initial meeting. At our initial meeting, they emphasised that they wanted a simple ceremony so I used my standard script but added a paragraph about the magic of a wedding on Christmas day. However, with Shiv not being from a culture that celebrates Christmas, I wanted to centre the importance of the holiday season with its connection to spending time with family and loved ones.

For my own Christmas celebrations, I asked my husband if we could host a small bbq with our parents and siblings so I could duck in and out to officiate Bec and Shiv’s wedding. He willingly obliged, intending to go to the butchers at Cabramatta on the morning of Christmas Day. Having a pool in our backyard, my biggest concern was whether I was going to jump in before or after Bec and Shiv’s ceremony.

Initially, the ceremony was meant to be at noon. However, with it being on a rooftop and with Sydney’s Christmas season being known for its heat, it was moved to 3:30pm. And of course, it was a cool and overcast Christmas Day which worked in our favour.

My mother, in a bid to spend more time with me on Christmas Day and see me in action as a celebrant, volunteered to be my groupie for the wedding. She was a bit bashful, as she was not prepared and was in casual clothing and her bedazzled Havianas, which I told her was absolutely perfect. Having warned Bec and Shiv that I may have a groupie and with Shiv’s response being “the more the merrier”, I knew they would not have noticed mum’s Havis. 

(Fun fact: a celebrant groupie is usually a family member or close friend who drives, carries equipment, takes candid photos, and sources a post-ceremony McDonald’s frozen Coke - all unpaid!)

When mum and I arrived at the apartment and took the elevator up, nerves started to kick in. I put on my celebrant hat and carefully went over the checklist in my head whilst smiling and nodding along. Being greeted by the couple beautifully dressed in white and beige, the scene was truly set. There were beautiful gold and white chairs set up on the AstroTurf, I think I counted 12. 

When mum and I arrived at the apartment and took the elevator up, nerves started to kick in. I put on my celebrant hat and carefully went over the checklist in my head whilst smiling and nodding along. Being greeted by the couple beautifully dressed in white and beige, the scene was truly set. There were beautiful gold and white chairs set up on the AstroTurf, I think I counted 12. 

The couple had told me at the initial meeting that they will probably be nervous on the day, with Shiv explaining that speaking was not their strongest suit. I asked if there were any signs of nerves to watch out for to which she said no and to proceed. I made sure I spoke with them individually when completing the DONLIM and gauged their nerves. They both simply could not stop smiling and there was such light behind their eyes. They were ready.

Remember how I said that Bec was a young person? She controlled the music to her own procession using her phone and Bluetooth speakers (also, her personal vow was on her phone). It was a very modern touch. Their song choice? Why not “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, of course! But a song that little ol’ millennial me has only heard in videos on my algorithm and never on the radio. Tears formed behind my eyes as she walked down to “Love You Still” by Tyler Shaw.

Not only was the song absolutely made for Bec and Shiv, but Bec was walked down the aisle by her father in a wheelchair who was being pushed by her brother. It was a moving moment, a young woman being given away by her father to the love of her life. Although she was a young woman to us, I imagine that all fathers picture their daughters as children or even babies during the procession. 

Knowing the magnitude of this moment, there was not a dry eye. I even saw my mum wiping away tears from her inconspicuous hiding spot behind a tree, as she tried to take a photo or two for me. Shiv, who was obviously so deeply in the moment, needed a little nudge to greet Bec’s father with a handshake to which they did one better with an embrace. Bec’s father was eyeing my AB Celebrancy branded pen on the signing table. I easily gave it to him (even though there are only 2 in existence at this present moment). 

The ceremony is a bit of a blur, with the strong sense of love and the fragility of life leaving an impression on me. Bec and Shiv admitted that a rooftop wedding at an apartment was not their dream venue but perhaps somewhere in Europe, their love was undeniable. They could have been on the top of the Himalayas with their guests fading in the background. There was no stopping them from declaring their love to each other. 

Unfortunately, as per my business practice and to secure confidentiality, I delete all of my scripts after I enter the marriage details onto LifeLink. I do keep paper copies in my paper files for each couple (yes, I know. I’m a dinosaur - I keep paper folders in my fireproof locking steel cabinet). This means I can’t really reflect on the words in my script but I can give you a revised version of the sentiments from the ceremony.

Christmas Day is often understood as a celebration of birth, hope, and light entering the world. For those of faith, it marks the arrival of Christ. For others, it is a day of gathering, warmth, and family. That afternoon, on a quiet rooftop just south of the Harbour Bridge, it became something more personal to me. Each Christmas from now on, alongside family barbecues and midnight Mass, I will remember that ceremony. Two people choosing commitment over convenience. Presence over postponement. Love over fear.

It was a reminder that love is incarnational: lived, embodied, present. That love often shows up not in grand gestures, but in small, sacred moments where people choose each other, even in uncertainty. Especially in uncertainty.

So to Bec and Shiv, thank you for trusting me with such a sacred moment. It was an honour to stand beside you, to witness your vows, and to make your marriage official in the eyes of the law and the hearts of those who love you.

Being able to share such a wonderful moment with my couples is really motivating me as a marriage celebrant. Stepping into their lives, witnessing love and being able to do my thang to make sure it is official legally.